Come On And Ride On This Fantastic Voyage

If you help me buy a motorcycle...ill give you a ride

2005-05-09T20:21:00.000-05:00

Soooo....I need a motorcycle. Heres the deal. Today the weather finally got above 80 degrees and I have come to the point where I am willing to do anything for a motorcycle. Anything! Its torture. Where I used to live I would see someone occasionally riding a cycle. Here, its like every corner I see one. It is driving me crazy. So if you would like to give to the "Eric needs a motorcycle" fund, please send checks made payable to Eric Pickard at 371 S Washington st Greencastle PA 17227. In other news, why does everyone think I am gonna die when I buy one. I'm just shooting in the dark here, but I dont think my motorcycle will have a sign that says hit me with your SUV. Although, that could make things pretty exciting. Heres the way I look at it, if I can make it through Jersey with only one accident, then I can manage to not kill myself. I know what you are thinking, one accident...thats not impressive. Well you need to live in Jersey. Jersey is the only place that I have driven where you can be driving 85 in a 65 and still be passed by nearly half the cars on the road. Its a great place to learn to drive. Nothing better than being thrown in the water and learning to swim. The whole state is like one giant race track. I love it. Ill have to go back and refresh my driving skills every so often. So back to my motorcycle. Be a pal...Help me out.

I see you have played knifey spooney before

2005-04-20T19:40:00.000-05:00

So I am finally settled in my new home now. Actually I have been settled in for a week now. Its been pretty crazy making the change to my new job and house but luckily I have found some time to post and boy do I have a story for you. So I was driving down the highway back to my old apartment to pick up my last remaining things and a I saw a store in the center of some small town. And get this, the store sold knifes and SWORDS. Yep, you heard me correct. That's what the sign said, "Knife and Sword Store." Now I don't know about you but I don't own a sword and I don't know anyone else who owns a sword. So why is there a sword store. Is there any use for a sword in our modern society. "Hey dear, this steak is a little tough, could you please pass me my sword." I don't think so. Now this leads me to another important question. Do they require a background check when you try to buy a sword. I sure hope so, because I would be more afraid of a man holding a sword then a gun. Not only does a person with a sword have a dangerous weapon, but he has to be insane to think that he/she needs a sword. And what if you have children. Its not like a gun where you can just hide the bullets in a different place. Nope, if a kid finds a sword he'she is ready to chop off heads instantly. We sure do live in a crazy world and I will surely be in that store purchasing a sword as soon as possible. So everyone better watch out because I am telling you right now, I have no clue how to use one. Maybe i'll call up my local musketeer for some lessons.

I need a new interest

2005-03-22T20:50:00.000-05:00

So get this. When making my blog profile they ask you for your interests or me for my interests, you get the point. I didnt really want to give my life story out to some random internet stalker, so i tried to think of something clever. Interests like bee-keeping and knitting popped into my head first, but then I had a brilliant idea. I know, "YOU", my interest can be "you". I thought it was pretty clever and original. Well little did I know, there are 40 other people that also have "you" for an interest. This clearly leaves me feeling not nearly as clever and funny as my ego normally lets me believe. Im feeling pretty unoriginal right now in fact. I better go make some crazy noise and movement.....Ok im back. What the heck. How can 40 other people also have thought of "you". So now I am left with two options. First I could enlist the help of my posse to help scare the other 40 into giving up my interest. Unfortunately my posse is missing though. I have a whole in my pocket and I think they fell through. I guess I should learn to sew or find a girlfriend. I do however really like saying the word posse. Makes me sound French or something. Speaking of the French, for my new job I will need to go to Sweden and France occasionally. How cool is that. Maybe I can find a new european posse when I am over there. Seriously though, that was a crazy part of the interview or interviews.

Them: "Eric would you have any problem traveling to Sweden and France"
Me: "Did I hear you correctly, did you just ask if I can travel to Sweden and France, or did you just ask if I have sweaty hands?"
Them: "Well I did ask if you could travel to Sweden and France, but I would also like to know if you have sweaty hands.
Me: "My hands are actually a little dry right now and no I dont think ill have any problem going to Sweden and France. I dont know any European though. So I might need to purchase a small European child to help me communicate over there and give me a massage occasionally."
Them: "Actually we provide everyone with a small European when they travel."
Me: "Oh sweet, I dont think ill have any trouble then."

Ok, the interview didn't really go like that. But they did say I would need to go to Sweden and France. I can't wait to start. Wasn't I talking about something else. Oh yeah, so I need a new interest. Who wants to let me in on one of there cool interests.

O Evolution My Evolution

2005-03-20T15:45:00.000-05:00

I am a blogging machine. I guess i'm just making up for lost time. I got a quick thought here. I was just eating some peanuts and thinking to myself. I wonder how Mr. Peanut feels about me eating his friends. But if they weren't so tasty, I wouldn't eat them. Maybe foods like vegetables just evolved over the years to taste so bad. Thats their defense mechanism to survive. Maybe we should pay our good friend evolution some respect and leave vegetables alone and only eat things like chocolate and peanuts, this means snickers bars are gonna be plentiful, which is fine by me. I just hope when carrots rule the world in 2049 they remember what I did for them.

I'm gonna marry Sweet Lou once they make it legal

2005-03-20T13:29:00.000-05:00

I love my TiVo. I named him Sweet Lou because he is so sweet to me. Sweet Lou recorded curling the other day. I need to tell you, curling is the most amazing sport ever. And no, curling is not a sport where people race to curl hair, although that could be just as amazing to watch. Curling is a sport where these people slide "stones" from one side of an ice rink and try to make it land in a bulzeye, bullsye, bulls-eye. How the heck do you spell buls eye? And how come spell checker won't help me out here, where is the love? Anyways, I think curling should be an Olympic sport. Oh wait, it is an Olympic sport. How come I never see curling during the Olympics? I don't care about those stupid ice ballerinas, I want to see curling. I was glad to see some of the cool summer Olympic sports finally being shown. I caught some awesome badminton, table-tennis, and sailing during the summer. Hopefully the winter Olympics will follow suit and give me some much needed curling. In other unexpected sport news. Sweet Lou also recorded a juggling competition for me. That's right, juggling. This competition was memorizing. They started juggling with the regular balls, rings, and clubs, then they moved on to cats, and finally small children. Now that was a sight to see. But the craziest thing of all was that the competition was commentated by Penn or was it Teller. You know, the magician, the one that talks, not the other one that doesn't talk. And I am not lying about that. Watching both of these shows has made me realize that I have really wasted my life. I could have been a great juggler or curler, if only I had known about these sports earlier. When I have a kid, or should I say when me and Natalie Portman have a kid, he/she is gonna be a professional juggler or curler, or jedi knight.

"I wish I was little bit taller, I wish I was a baller, I wish I had a girl who looked good I would call her"

2005-03-19T20:48:00.000-05:00

Can anyone tell me why the first question I am asked when I meet someone is always "wow you are tall, do you play basketball?" I don't go around asking short people if they are good at... So what are short people good at. I guess they are good at hide-and-seek and the limbo. But I think you catch my drift. Yes, I am 6ft 4in. No, I did not play basketball in college. No, the weather is not different up here. Enough of the ridiculous questions.

I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there, if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you.

Here's Johnny

2005-03-19T12:04:00.000-05:00

Oh no! I have visitors, and I havent cleaned up yet. Well I guess someone let the cat out of the bag. Soon this blog will be the most popular site on the web. So where did this statement "letting the cat out of the bag" come from. Is there some strange ritual that I don't know about where we stick cats in bags and then let them out. In other pet news, I am currently watching the O.C. which I had recorded on my tivo. If you dont know what a tivo is, well you should, and you should buy one. So anyways, this episode opens with a song by one of my new favorite bands called The Futureheads. The O.C. is playing a lot of the music I listen to. I'm not sure if i like them doing this, i'll get back to you on that one. Gotto go.

Oh yeah there is no pet connections to the O.C. in case you are wondering.

Eee-Yikes...that was rough

2005-03-07T00:59:00.000-05:00

Hello everyone. So i finally completed my lifelong goal of making my own blog. Actually its been more of like a 2 day goal. But it was a rough two days. Im a little worn out by all this setup stuff. So ill write again later. Cya